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504 People who can’t stop offering to help carry things, refill drinks, or load the dishwasher at someone else’s house aren’t well-raised, they grew up in homes where being useful was the price of being welcome

Silicon Canals
Justin Brown @ Silicon Canals · 05/03/2026 08:19 EDT

People who can’t stop offering to help carry things, refill drinks, or load the dishwasher at someone else’s house aren’t well-raised, they grew up in homes where being useful was the price of being welcome

Compulsive helpfulness at other people's homes often gets read as good manners. The pattern underneath is usually something else: a childhood lesson that welcome was contingent on being useful, automated decades later in someone else's kitchen.

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