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32 There’s a specific kind of grief that hits when you realize your parents weren’t strict because they didn’t trust you. They were strict because the world they grew up in punished mistakes permanently, and control was the only form of love that felt safe enough to offer.

Silicon Canals
Christian Kelly @ Silicon Canals 2 place · today 05:35 EDT

There’s a specific kind of grief that hits when you realize your parents weren’t strict because they didn’t trust you. They were strict because the world they grew up in punished mistakes permanently, and control was the only form of love that felt safe enough to offer.

Strict parenting often wasn't about distrust — it was the only language of love available to people who grew up in worlds that punished mistakes permanently. Recognising that creates a particular kind of grief that's harder to process than simple resentment.

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