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20 Psychology says people who instinctively soften their language in emails and texts are not being polite. They are running a real-time calculation about how much honesty the relationship can survive.

Silicon Canals
Christian Kelly @ Silicon Canals 3 place · 03/05/2026 22:39 EDT

Psychology says people who instinctively soften their language in emails and texts are not being polite. They are running a real-time calculation about how much honesty the relationship can survive.

The instinct to hedge, soften, and pre-apologize in emails isn't simple politeness. It's a real-time psychological assessment of how much honesty a relationship can absorb before something breaks.

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