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911 There’s a specific kind of person who apologizes for things that weren’t their fault, and it isn’t low self-esteem. It’s a preemptive fee they learned to pay to keep situations from escalating into something worse

Silicon Canals
Tommy Baker @ Silicon Canals · 04/21/2026 22:12 EDT

There’s a specific kind of person who apologizes for things that weren’t their fault, and it isn’t low self-esteem. It’s a preemptive fee they learned to pay to keep situations from escalating into something worse

Preemptive apology looks like low self-esteem from the outside, but it's usually something else entirely: a survival strategy built in childhood to de-escalate situations before they turn dangerous. Here's what the research actually shows.

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