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909 I’m 66 and I recently understood that the reason I find it so hard to ask for help is not independence — it is the very specific and very old belief that needing something from another person is the first step toward becoming a burden, and a burden, in the house I grew up in, was the one thing nobody was allowed to be

Silicon Canals
Tommy Baker @ Silicon Canals · 04/14/2026 07:30 EDT

I’m 66 and I recently understood that the reason I find it so hard to ask for help is not independence — it is the very specific and very old belief that needing something from another person is the first step toward becoming a burden, and a burden, in the house I grew up in, was the one thing nobody was allowed to be

At 66, I discovered that what I'd called "independence" my whole life was actually a childhood terror of becoming a burden—a fear so deep it kept me from asking anyone for anything, even when I was breaking.

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