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359 Psychology says people who slowly become unpleasant to be around as they get older didn’t develop new flaws — they lost the motivation to manage the old ones, and the management, it turns out, was doing considerably more work than anyone around them understood while it was still running

Silicon Canals
Tommy Baker @ Silicon Canals · 04/04/2026 15:15 EDT

Psychology says people who slowly become unpleasant to be around as they get older didn’t develop new flaws — they lost the motivation to manage the old ones, and the management, it turns out, was doing considerably more work than anyone around them understood while it was still running

As we age, the exhausting work of keeping our worst impulses in check—the forced smiles, bitten tongues, and swallowed frustrations that made us bearable for decades—finally runs out of fuel, revealing that the pleasant person everyone knew was actually a carefully maintained performance all along.

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