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110 I grew up in a house where apologies were always followed by explanations, and I didn’t understand until my thirties that an explanation after an apology isn’t accountability. It’s a refund request.

Silicon Canals
Lachlan Brown @ Silicon Canals 3 place · today 07:04 EDT

I grew up in a house where apologies were always followed by explanations, and I didn’t understand until my thirties that an explanation after an apology isn’t accountability. It’s a refund request.

Many of us grew up believing that explaining yourself after apologizing showed emotional maturity. But an explanation attached to an apology often functions as a refund request — an attempt to renegotiate the other person's emotional response rather than truly sitting with the impact of what you did.

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