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714 Research suggests the most exhausting kind of love isn’t unrequited — it’s the kind where you love someone completely and they love you completely and neither of you knows how to receive what the other is offering because both of your systems were calibrated in homes where love was either conditional, inconsistent, or delivered in a language the other person’s body doesn’t recognise

Silicon Canals
James Brennan @ Silicon Canals · 03/20/2026 05:00 EDT

Research suggests the most exhausting kind of love isn’t unrequited — it’s the kind where you love someone completely and they love you completely and neither of you knows how to receive what the other is offering because both of your systems were calibrated in homes where love was either conditional, inconsistent, or delivered in a language the other person’s body doesn’t recognise

Most people assume that when a relationship falls apart, one of two things happened: someone stopped caring, or the two people were simply wrong for each other from the start. It’s a tidy explanation. It’s also missing the most quietly destructive pattern in adult relationships. Some of the most painful dynamics don’t exist between people ... Read more

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